Anti-Social Media

“I’m unplugged, changed, I’m a new man.”  “Congratulations…”

Congratulations, but no one really cares that you deleted your social media account(s).  And the ones that do are just as indoctrinated as you were.  Facebook was supposed to be a way to bring people closer together, to keep in touch with friends and other loved ones, but in my opinion it has failed spectacularly.  Once people on Facebook became a commodity – something to more or less be bought and sold – was probably the point things took a turn for the worst.

What I have learned is that friends and family – people you’re supposed to be able to count on and trust – all have an ugly side that you know NOTHING about, and you’re better off not knowing too. I was happier not knowing.

At the beginning of the year – January until maybe March – I was bombarded by a near endless parade of friend requests from beautiful strangers on Facebook – daily.  The first few days I was pretty flattered that these handsome men thought enough of me to want to friend me, but after a while it became obvious that more than a few were fake accounts run by bots.  Probably designed to see what else I “liked” – perhaps the facial features or body types of these men – who knows.  But just as suddenly as the cacophony began, it stopped once I stopped accepting requests, almost as if Facebook knew I was bored with the admiration of strangers.

And for being social media, its not exactly social to be friends with 5,000 people.  (And why 5,000?  Why is that the cap?  If you’re just buying and selling people why would you limit their connections?)  Dunbar’s Number suggests that you can only realistically maintain 150 relationships, so why wasn’t that the cap?  And if you have a lot of friends, who and how do you pick and choose to follow?  Some of the sorting will be done for you, of course, since some people tend to post less than others, but still, how do you choose?  It’s like looking at a sea of digital hands all waving at you to try to get your attention and the one(s) you do choose tends to draw enmity from the crowd (“you lucky bastard” and so on…)

And once you hit the 5,000 cap, it becomes like an exclusive club, a one out one in situation where you’re the bouncer.

Who Cares?

  • No one really cares if you’re thinning out your friends list and wants people to ask to stay.  No one should have to fight for a place in your life if you really want them there.
  • No one really cares if you’re deleting old pics in case they want a copy.  If they wanted a copy they’d probably already have one.
  • No one really cares what you’re watching or reading or playing either.  And if they do, their comments – in my experience – tend to be on the negative side.

Most of the time, trying to have a meaningful conversation tends to end up with either a post with HUNDREDS of comments (for those with large followings) or it ends up looking like you’re screaming into the void (for those with very little following).  The size of your following tends to be based on either your physical appearance and/or how well you can sell yourself to others.

People complaining about politics, posts getting reported, airing dirty laundry, seeing my iPhone notifications about my weekly social media screen time (yes I know I can turn it off, but I digress)…I won’t miss it.  I plan on keeping in touch with those closest to me, sure.  But the rest of it just has to go.

I nurtures negative feelings towards people.  “Glad it happened to you, you’re a bitch for blah blah blah…” isn’t something one should feel for another person that’s suffering.  There also comes a point, for me at least, when all the “friendly” good natured ribbing becomes annoying.  When I’m trying to post something that matters to me, or when I’m trying to have a serious moment, inevitably someone will post something in the comments that just pisses me off, even if that’s not what the poster was trying to do.

You’re just another pretty face in a room full of whores.

Finding out there are so many gay Republicans and/or Trump supporters in my community has definitely been eye opening.  It’s also been the catalyst for wanting to leave Facebook altogether.  It’s definitely been a disgusting revelation for sure and enforces my distrust of others.  But having this distrust for others in the gay community both makes me sick and is very upsetting.  It’s definitely helped me figure out who my real friends are and what sort of people I’m really dealing with underneath.

Escape

And Facebook is in everything now.  Why create another account somewhere that you’ll just have to keep track of when you can just…

This button is EVERYWHERE

But if I end up deleting my main Facebook account, I’m left wondering a few things:

  • How is it to delete your account?  Do you have to go back to other sites where you’ve logged in with Facebook and re-enter all your info?
  • Can it be so easy to unplug from the big F?  I’ve seen more than one person leave the site only to return after a time…

Well…let’s fast forward from the time I wrote the above part to the beginning of this month.  A certain someone decided (at Christmas time no less) that he “just wants to be friends” and “it’s not you, it’s me.”  Ok, fine, done.  I’m done.  A couple days after that I decided fuck this shit and fuck you too and closed my account.  I kept Facebook Messenger to keep in touch with a few people and because it is its own entity separate from Facebook (which means you’ll have to close your account on it separately).  I haven’t been back and I plan on never returning.  So far I haven’t had to go back to any site where I used the Facebook login button and redo my account, and I hope I don’t have to.

Since that…event…I’ve gone through and closed a few more social media accounts:

  • Closed both of the Discord servers that I created and left a third that a Facebook friend had created (apparently some people can’t take a joke.  The owner assures me that he’ll make it up to me but I insisted that he needn’t bother.)
  • Closed both my Tumblrs after their narrow minded decision to ban adult content.
  • Closed my Snapchat account

Slowly removing my presence from the internet feels good to a certain degree.  I’ve reached out to a few people that I wanted to keep in touch with after closing Facebook.  Some have put forth the effort while others met my friendship with a cold reception.  I won’t bother them with my presence a second time.

All That Remains

I downloaded all the pictures from Facebook that I gave a shit about and stored them.  As for everything that I had written in my ‘About Me’ section, I did a quick copy/paste of that, almost like I was turning the lights off as I was going out the door:

  • Not only are you wrong, but I even created an Excel spreadsheet to show how wrong you are.  -James Wyatt
  • “Religion is for those who don’t want to go to hell. Spirituality is for those who’ve already been through it.” Deepak Chopra
  • “When the flames burn out, and the walls finally crumble I will be there, as you breathe your last breath, waiting to drag you straight to hell…and I will show no mercy for the weak, no pity for the dying, and no tears for the slain”
  • “You are the music while the music lasts” -T.S. Eliot
  • The Declaration of Independence for the Internet Age:  PEOPLE=FREE, IF(PEOPLE=CONSENT),GOVERNMENT=TRUE,ELSE(FALSE). LIST:(COMPLAINTS)
  • I never believed the devil was real but God couldn’t make someone filthy as you.  -Marilyn Manson
  • There are four questions of value in life… What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love.  -Tiana Kirkland
  • omnium rerum principia parva sunt.  (The beginnings of all things are small)  -Cicero
  • Don’t worry about what may be before it is and don’t grieve me before I’m gone.
  • “It’s about also knowing in your heart, that, you may never reach that glorious moment until you die.  So live life, on the edge, you know, halfway between heaven and hell, and let’s all dance in the middle in purgatory.”  -Lady Gaga
  • Inter spem curamque, timores inter et iras
    omnen crede diem tibi diluxisse supremem:
    grata superveniet quae non sperabitur hora.

    This means:

    Amid the hope and worry, the fear and anger
    believe that each day which breaks is your last:
    the unhoped for hour will be a welcome surprise.

  • “Veritas Amara Libertas” – Truth is a bitter freedom.
  • “ad astra per aspera” – Through hardships to the stars
  • “In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” -Albert Camus
  • “Dies irae veniendum est.” – The day of wrath is coming
  • Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums and parks and monuments and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.  I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people.
  • “They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered…”
  • “The mind is everything…  What you think, you become…”
  • Ubi sunt qui ante nos fuerunt?  “Where are those who were before us?”
  • Sic gorguamus allos subjactatos nunc  “We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.”  -Addams Family motto
  • I try to do good in the world not out of fear for hell or reward of heaven, but because it feels better not to be an asshole.
  • There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience.  -French proverb
  • liberate tutemet ex inferis – Save yourself from hell
  • Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.  -Sir Isaac Newton
  • Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur (Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time)
  • You are a child of the Universe, no less than the moon and the stars you have a right to be here.  And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should. -Max Ehrmann
  • Maybe this world is another planet’s Hell.  -Aldous Huxley
  • Anger is a great force.  If you control it, it can be transmuted into a power which can move the whole world.  -Sri Swami Sivananda
  • There is a lie in believe, an over in lover, an end in friend, an us in trust and an if in life.
  • My daily objective is less about goal achievement and more about regret management.  #aimlow – Anna Kendrick

And with that, adieu Facebook.  We won’t meet again in my lifetime.  I believe that you’ve done more harm than good.