Saturday Morning

Outside the world was dreary, but vibrant with life.  Inside there was nothing but silence and the rolling screensaver from Netflix, another night of binge sleeping through all the episodes of Grace & Frankie.  I stumble, groggily, to the kitchen for coffee mulling over the disastrous and gross state of the floor.  Imagining the horror of tiles breaking as I rolled the refrigerator across them to position it back in its alcove on the opposite wall. Grout and sealant will be purchased this month, I thought, as the Keurig whined about making me a coffee.  If anyone could see my face right now, they’d think I was angry, when in fact I’m just trying to wake up.  I sat down and grabbed my laptop, thoughts swirling in my head like a storm that I must navigate.  The irritating sound of the windows rattling as the train passed by mingled with the tune to Sade’s ‘Soldier of Love’ as I thought about the events of the day.  Finally getting to have lunch with Glenn and William after nearly a month.  Glenn was finally getting the cabinet out of the front room.  It’s all starting to come together in there and will be “done” once I make a few more trips to IKEA for the shelving I want and once I decide whether to keep the rest of my World of Darkness books.  I say “done” as I still haven’t found the kind of video game decor for the room that pleases me that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.  Where’s my damn coffee?  As I sip, I think about the year ahead.  Still filled with an amazing amount of dread over my future trips to Philadelphia to see Matty.  I can’t let what Jeffery said to me at the end ruin this beautiful and amazing city for me anymore.  There is still so much more to see and do and experience.  Fuck him, he’s dead anyway.  Chalk that one up to the mistakes pile along with Stuart and Chris and the innumerable list of things I wish I had and hadn’t said to the innumerable list of people I wish I had and hadn’t said those things to.

How many times have I listened to this damn song? Ugh…I’m a soldier of love, but I need something with a beat. Ah, here we go, some Slayer should do.

Opening my email anymore fills me with vomity horror as it’s never anything anymore but the shitty things that the Trump administration is doing.  Sign these 500 petitions to help save the world.  Yeah, right.  My emails anymore are nothing but an exhaustive list of shipments from either eBay, Amazon or Gaming Relics, or creepy emails from Target telling me “that thing you looked at is on sale, buy it”.  Stop being a creep Target.

Time for more coffee!  I’ve picked up the cup twice now and realized I drank it all.

Bloodborne.  It’s been 2 years since I beat the game with that gangly British twat’s help then subsequently abandoned once he got the platinum trophy.  This time around, I’ll get the damn platinum since my brothers in arms are playing it with me.  This will be the second game this year that I came close to getting the platinum in the past only to have victory jerked out from underneath me.  Infamous and the trophy glitch and then Bloodborne and someone else’s selfishness.  I can’t even listen to his music now without getting angry since he unfriended me a few weeks ago.  It’s whatever though.  Had anything ever come of it, it would have just been more amazing sex with a crazy person and we all know how that ends.

Looking at my release calendar, I need to do more writing.  Seriously.  I have so much to say and only so much time to say it.

There’s a lot to look forward to though.  E3 this year is going to be amazing.  There’s already been a few things announced that I’m interested in seeing more of (Smash Bros for the Switch? Yes please!) and other things that have been mentioned or shown in the past that I hope make an appearance this year.  E3 is almost like the carrot on the stick to help me and Matty get through the shitty opening to this year. It’s not been good for either of us, but I argue that it’s been a lot worse for him than for me.  10 hour work days along with winter storms that have knocked out power.  Just wanna give him a hug and remind him I love him and I’m here for him, always.  The other big event this year is the meetup in Atlantic City.  I’m still super nervous and full of dread about going to that too, but I’m sure it will be a good time.  Both events are definitely keeping me motivated to get up and keep on living.

Now that I’m fully awake and energized, there’s a lot to do and I have no motivation to do any of it.  Let’s do it anyway.